I Raised Him Modestly, But He Came Back Obsessed With Me - Chapter 45
Cersinia knew that Ben did not mean something temporary when he said disappearing and that he was afraid that she would stop breathing one day.
“That can’t be true,” Cersinia answered as calmly as possible.
At this moment, she wanted to convince him that it wouldn’t happen, because it seemed that otherwise he would collapse.
“Cersinia, please don’t try to carry everything on your own.”
Ben’s dark thoughts were starting to catch up to him. And the conclusion he took out of it was that there was absolutely no reason for him to live in a world without Cersinia.
“…It’s not like that.”
Cersinia avoided his gaze at the piercing remark.
His unfinished words were submerged with silence. When his voice trailed, Cersinia turned to Ben once more. His eyes were quivering and his broad shoulders shook slightly as he lowered his head.
Cersinia’s face was filled with embarrassment. Worried that he might cry, she grabbed his shoulder. Then he put his large hand on top of Cersinia’s and gently squeezed it.
“Can’t you be dependent on me? Even though it’s just a little bit?”
His eyes were basically begging and the feelings she had been suppressing came back rushing.
“I’ll always be by and on your side. So if you lean on me sometimes, I would be happy.”
When he felt his warm forehead on the back of her hand, Ben clasped Cersinia’s hand tightly as if comforting her.
“…Okay. Thank you.”
Cersinia’s voice subsided as she was choking up. Tears filled the corners of her eyes and were threatening to fall, so she quickly turned her head away from Ben not wanting to cry in front of him. She bit her lower lip tightly to prevent her from sobbing. She tried hard not to close her eyes, if she let her guard down and blinked once, her tears would definitely flow down like a shower.
Ben seems to always say every word she desperately wants to hear. It was the same back then too, when she first met Ben. When he asked her if she was lonely, it shook her core like stone falling into water at rest. Unlike the original Cersinia, she had emotions and she always felt lonely after coming into this new world. So it meant that sometimes she needed someone, someone who wasn’t scared of her powers and who was willing to stay by her side.
“Because of my power, you may suffer too. But… if that’s okay with you…”
“I want to be with you. Please be with me, Cersinia.”
She remembered him smiling brightly, as if spring flowers had bloomed, in the heavy rain on the dock. Ben’s answer was so sincere and the fact that he didn’t hesitate made it seem even more genuine. Maybe that is why she was so disappointed about his disappearance.
But Ben came back and once more told her what she wanted to hear. Even when everyone was throwing stones at her because of the misunderstanding, he stood in front of her silently and protected her. Allowing her to hide in his arms and breathe, even when everyone shot hateful glares her way, he shielded her from them. He was always putting her first.
Silent tears eventually flowed down Cersinia’s cheeks and never stopped, they were revealing every emotion she felt and tightly kept inside her heart.
“I’m always on your side.”
The sincere words that couldn’t be misunderstood reached her ears once more.
‘Why are you… Why are you always…’
Cersinia eventually lowered her head.
He realized that she started fidgeting when she noticed her voice breaking. Seeing Cersinia’s shoulders shake act like a stab in Ben’s heart. He raised his torso and swept Cersinia’s hair behind her ears. Her bottom swelled up because she was biting them hard enough to bleed earlier and her eyelashes looked darker since they were now dampened.
“Everything is fine.”
Ben’s hand carefully moved towards Cersinia’s face and soon after warm fingertips swept across the corners of her eyes. He wiped away her tears, it seemed that by doing so he was getting rid of all the pain that she was pouring out. His fingers were now wet from her tears, which to him looked like twinkling stars.
“I will make sure of it, ” his determined voice echoed through the night, piercing between the two of them.
* * *
“When the morning comes, everything will be fine.”
Ben gently whispered as he pulled the blanket over Cersinia’s neck, who was now laying in bed.
Cersinia nodded with a small smile. It sounded absurd, but there was something in his voice that made it all sound so real. It made you believe him without doubting him for even a second. Even if they were empty words, they were enough to appease her mind and comfort her heart for now. Cersinia wanted to believe that just like the sun rises tomorrow after setting today, she will feel better tomorrow after resting.
“You can sleep in peace. I will stay by your side.”
Surprised at the absurd words, Cersinia’s eyes widened. “What? No. You should sleep too.”
“It’s okay. I’m fine.” Ben smiled softly, making eye contact with Cersinia. Each of her expressions and actions warmed his heart and made it flutter.
“No. No way. Go ahead and lie down.”
Cersinia pulled herself up so she could pull Ben down, who seemed unwilling to move. She was soon forced to lie back down by his large hands.
Cersinia was glaring at Ben because he was pressing her shoulder so that she wouldn’t be able to move. She honestly thought that it was a smart move.
“Then I will make sure you fall asleep and leave.”
Ben slyly smiled and covered Cersinia with the blanket, which had fallen off of her shoulders, once again. His dark purple eyes were so determined, Cersinia couldn’t retort.
“When I fall asleep, go to bed right away, understand?”
Cersinia, who was forced to give up, said. Looking at him, it seemed like he had no intention of leaving before she fell asleep.
“Yes. I understand.”
Cersinia glanced at Ben with doubtful eyes but chose to close her eyes. But even when she closed her eyes, she could still feel his eyes on her. Her body stiffened upon realizing. She had started to rest, but when she was aware that he was watching her, it was like she forgot how to sleep.
Cersinia counted sheeps in her head while groaning, in her mind, out of frustration. Perhaps as long as Ben continued to watch her, she wouldn’t be able to sleep. After multiple minutes and sheeps Cersinia started to doze off without realizing.
When you think about it, her physical condition has reached its limit due to what happened on that day. She was easily tired even with a little movement, and she had significantly less energy than usual. The doctor also said it was best for her to eat well and rest well without stress. Cersinia gently closed her eyes.
“Sweet dream, Cersinia.”
When their eyes met, Ben flashed her the most gentle smile ever. It gave her the impression of telling her to relax and go to sleep because he was there to protect her from anything. He looked so reliable that Cersinia’s worries melted like snow.
“Good night to you too…” Cersinia mumbled.
Cersinia’s whole body was tired, so she became one with the cozy bed. It seemed like she saw Ben’s eyes glimmering with determination through her blurry vision. Still, she had already fallen into a deep sleep with a calm face that they couldn’t imagine what happened to her on that day.
In the moonlit room, only the breathing sound of them could be heard. Ben carefully covered her with a blanket once more to prevent the cool air from disturbing her sleep. He also carefully removed the baby hairs attached to her face if it would be tickled her. For a long time, Ben silently looked at Cersinia’s face. As if to engrave in his mind for a long time of her face, without a single shade.
‘If only I could stop time.’ Ben repeated in his head countless times.
It was not midnight yet , but Ben stood up silently. His dark and sunken eyes, something he had never shown Cersinia, looked at the window. Waiting for the signal announcing him that everything was in place and it was time for him to move.
‘It was now time for me to end all of this.’
He will personally put away everything that disturbed Cersinia. He wanted her to smile without worries. Like a black leopard, he blended in with the darkness. Impatient, he left without even receiving a signal. The floor was so cold that it didn’t look like people lived in the house.
* * *
“W-Will it really be okay?”
“That’s right! The village Chief said he’ll take care of everything.”
The young man kept looking around and murmuring in anxiety. Annoyed the middle-aged bearded man next to him yelled.
“Aren’t you going to spray it right now? At this rate, we will stay up all night!”
The man cried.
‘Why did I have to do this?’
He thought that it was unfair for him to take one all the difficult and dangerous work when it wasn’t his idea to set the witch’s house on fire. The two men were squatted in front of the house, holding matches and a barrel of oil.
“I-I really can’t do it.”
The man, who couldn’t stand it any more, eventually let go of the barrel of oil in his hands. The latter fell over and spilled oil. The current breeze spread the smell of oil everywhere as it passed.
The bearded man quickly picked up the barrel of oil, but more than half of the precious oil poured out already.
“If you want to do it, why don’t you do it!”
“Why don’t you do it?!”
The young man said while widening his eyes in a challenging manner. The bearded man’s face crumpled and he spat on the floor.
“How annoying, you can’t even handle one thing properly.”
As he pushed the man roughly with his elbow, the bearded man began spraying the oil he was holding into the house. The sound resonated through the silent night, it seemed that everybody in the house was sleeping. When he turned around and sprayed oil on the house, the smell of oil that didn’t disappear from the night breeze poked his nose.
When he emptied the barrel, the bearded man turned around and threw a disapproving look to the man behind him. The bearded man turned around and swallowed hard, he didn’t want to show it but his hands were shaking.
‘I just have to light up the match, throw it in the house and the witch will finally burn down.’
Cold sweats were forming on the man’s forehead, in fear and guilt, despite the chilly autumn breeze. I didn’t matter if she was a witch, it still took a lot of courage from him to commit a murder. Witch or not it was still a murder.
“What are you waiting for? You were shouting so loudly before, why are you hesitating now!”
The bearded man rebuked the man who was now pressuring him. After yelling so loudly, he ended up doing exactly what the other did. He stared at the bearded man with his arms folded and a runny nose.
“I-I’m going to do it!”
The bearded man’s provocation made the man’s face red. He lowered his hand to light the match in his hand.
Then he heard a voice of fear behind his back. The man quickly turned his head to look at his partner.
Upon hearing his companion gasp the young man turned around. Finally seeing what his companion was looking at, the match in his hand fell helplessly on the floor and his face turned white from shock.